Basically you can allow it to access your social media and it will pull up what you did one, two, three+ years ago on that date in time. Sometimes it is hilarious to read the shenanigans I was up to back in the dorm or even back on my old street.
Sometimes I read things I thought were funny or insightful and cringe.
Thinking of where I was 4 years ago just starting my freshman year of college I realized I came in with all these expectations. As previously mentioned I had dreams of being a business major with tons of cool friends where we hang out at a coffee shop where they know my name and order. I would be in a million organizations all while having a high GPA.
As far as my expectations when it came to my spiritual walk?
I didn't really have any; or at least none that I can recall.
I was not pursuing Jesus daily and I would only sometimes thumb through my Bible.
I was in a place where I thought I only had to pray when someone was sick and since I was a good girl, good things would happen to me.
I did not expect for Jesus to totally change my life forever.
My expectations seemed so silly in comparison to how amazing God used my years in college.
Instead of being a business professional marketing rep, I graduated with a degree in tourism management and started work for a non-profit Christian camp the Monday after I walked the stage. Yes, I did frequent Mugwalls coffee shop at one point, but God took my dream of "cool friends" and instead showed me what real life biblical community looked like right in the middle of College Station, Texas. All these things were so. much. better.
Most importantly I came to fully understand the goodness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I began to understand the magnitude of what it looks like to follow Jesus daily.
I began to see that while it is obviously the best thing that will ever happen in your life, it is also incredibly hard.
It is not easy to choose joy daily. It is not easy to willingly surrender to the Lord.
It's actually crazy hard because it is our flesh waging a war against us.
For example, my flesh is a total control freak//worry wart.
We had to do this team building exercise in one of my classes last semester that was supposed to be an example of trust and following another person. The idea was to pair up with someone you don't know, be blindfolded and have them guide you around the perimeter of the building. Being the anti-social people we were, me and one of my best friends teamed up together.
I freaked out.
She was not purposefully making me step through a pit of snakes or anything. In fact she kept me on the sidewalk for the most part. There was even a terrifying point where I had to trust her to lead me up a couple of shallow stair steps. The whole time I could not even trust one of my friends to ensure that I would not bust my face open on the concrete, let alone some stranger. Other members of the class laughed at me. (so much for us trying to be anti-social...)
Sometimes this is how I feel with trusting the Lord. God is the absolute best thing in my life, and eternal life through Jesus is undeniably the best gift I will ever receive. Yet when it comes to Him leading me somewhere I am not comfortable with--whoa I am pretty sure I can lead myself, thank you.
So let's take all these things and fast forward to my post grad life.
I am in a totally new town, 2+ hours away from my family and friends and wearing J. Crew to a camp environment every day.
Not where I had originally imagined myself.
And that is okay.
I am learning a ton about obedience to the Lord.
I recently listened to a podcast that talked about our motivations towards Christian obedience.
The fact that I am found in Christ should compel me towards obedience. [2 Corinthians 5:14]
The fact that God's loving gaze never leaves me even when I try to do things my own way should inspire me to do be obedient where He calls.
Daily reminders of the Lord's goodness through his Son taking the sins of the world on the cross and defeating death to give us life should spur my desire to do His will.
Why do I cling to my expectations if I've seen that God is going to transform them for my good and for His glory?
I don't need to be in control and know why He has me here.
The fact that I am His is enough.
The cross was enough.
